Balancing Your Relationship Needs With Your Own

Some people believe to “love someone freely without reservations” means giving up on their own needs and desires completely. This is a common problem with couples whether they’re still in that newlywed stage of romance or have been together for decades.
It is true that relationship needs are important but remember that each individual will have some needs that are important to them that simply cannot be met by a partner. Everyone wants to contribute to the needs of the relationship but often time people totally loose themselves. It is very important that you do not lose yourself in your relationship. Maintaining your individuality will help you to contribute more to your partner and to your relationship.
Here are some ways you can nurture yourself so that you’re able to give the best to your lover and contribute to the relationship needs.
1. Spend quiet time alone in meditation or enjoying a good book without any interruptions. You would have relaxed your mind and body and possible learn some talking points for when you see your partner again. In working on you, you have improved yourself as well as made yourself appear more desirable to your partner.
2. Watch a movie! What about the one you have been dying to see but your partner was not too crazy about? Don’t deny yourself the things that you enjoy simply because someone else does not find them interesting or enjoyable. Maintaining a certain degree of independence is very appealing to some people. Your partner could be one of those people.
3. Visit your family and friends. Spending time with your family can help you keep a relationship strong. We often alienate our families and friends in favor of a new love interest. Let your family and friends know you are still the same fun person they know and love.
4. Recreational time or your favorite hobby. If you’re a golfer and your partner isn’t, there’s no reason you shouldn’t take a day and hit the links. Take in a friendly game with friends or just play a round by yourself. If you like to sew, spend a day doing that. Just because your partner finds some of the things you enjoy unappealing to them doesn’t mean you can’t continue to enjoy these things.
5. Enjoy a day at the spa. Pamper yourself with a bubble bath, hot tub, whirlpool or massage. This will make you feel good and may provide some side benefits to your partner as well. Wink, Wink.
Relationship needs encompasses many things and no two relationship will have the same needs. Remember to keep a balance in your contributions to the needs of your relationships while looking after your own needs. Be sure to allow or be tolerant of your partner’s pursuit of satisfying their individual needs. Doing so would benefit and contribute to the overall health of the relationship.

This post has 7 comments
April 29th, 2009
Excellent insight and I will be taking these tips to heart! Will be checking this site out!
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April 29th, 2009
GREAT article!
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April 29th, 2009
This is some really great advice. I think it’s particularly important for those involved with someone with mental health issues. It’s vital to take time away for yourself.
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April 29th, 2009
I think spending alone time is the absolute best thing to preventing stress. It is very relaxing.
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April 29th, 2009
This is great advice, especially the words of wisdom about going to the spa! Keeping yourself up is so important in a relationship, and it keeps the juices flowing. Here’s an article on how eating well can help you to keep yourself up: http://www.rawontheroad.com/vegan-raw-foods-eating-books-carol-alt-real-world-beauty/
April 29th, 2009
Excellent article! I think it is so important for a person to come into the relationship as a whole person and not looking for someone to complete them. When you are a whole person to begin with you will not forget about your needs. There is a balance between your needs and the needs of the relationship.
April 29th, 2009
The tips in this article are pretty good. It’s so easy to lose a piece of yourself when in a serious relationship!
Great site – keep it up!
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